Sunday, July 30, 2017

New Goals

Hello.  Last post was before the July 4th weekend and since then a lot of things have changed.  We are getting new management system at work and work is still a headache.  Let's leave that there.

I started my new diet plan, weight loss journey the Sunday of July 4th weekend, to be exact July 2nd.

I started with a weight of exactly 180lbs.  I wished I had taken a photo of the weight scale the start date.  I don't care about my body photos much because I already have too many of those "fat" before photos and I think if anyone sees me, they would know how big I am already.  I know people who are a lot heavier than I am, but their bodies are a lot smaller.  Everyone's build is different and that is why I feel like it won't make a difference until I am actually really thin or something.

As of today, 28 days later, I currently weigh 164.4lbs which is a total of 15.6lbs lost.  I lost the majority of my weight the first two weeks, with a total of 14 lbs in 14 days.  The third week in, it was my birthday weekend and there were multiple celebrations - with lots of sweets and food that triggered my weight a little.  I went up and down for the next two weeks until today which put me back at the weight I had lost at 2 weeks + 1.6 lbs.  My ideal weight and goal is to be exactly 110lbs.  I don't have a set date that I need to be that weight, but I do know that I would like to drop down to that weight one day in the near future.  My doctor said with my height (5'2) I should be around 104-135lbs.  I personally think 104 is way too thin for my liking and I do not think I will ever be able to get that slim, but at the same time, I also think 135 is a little too thick for me.  I've been that weight before and I was still "chunky" around my chin and back.  My stomach is a core problem too.  So I think 110 would be an ideal weight and I think I would look okay then for my height.  I was doing some research and technically, to look "decent" I should be 99lbs which is a big NO for me. I think I would look scary if I lost that much weight.  That would be a total of 81 lbs that I need to lose from 180 lb start weight.

My heaviest weight in my entire life is 188.1 lbs.  I promised myself that I would NEVER ever go higher than that in my life, not because I don't like the way I look, but because of health problems.  Just losing this little weight this month, I've already felt my body changing.  Easier to sleep at night, easier to move around, easier to move my body parts in ways that I did not think I was able to move.  It is still a scary thought to be losing 70lbs to reach my goal weight.  I know it is doable as long as I put my mind to it and to keep focus.  I know I've tried many times to start this journey and failed and who knows if I will fail this one too.  I don't have a motivation that keeps me going, I don't even have motivation to go on day by day.  I don't like to exercise, I don't like to do anything that makes me tire.  So because of that, I'm just eating the minimal and only eating enough to satisfy my hunger and not my heart's desire.  I've swayed away from all the fatty food, all the sugary drinks, and all the things that aren't necessarily going to help me lose weight. I know for a fact that if I was as active as I should be, I would be dropping weight twice as fast.  But its okay, I really do not want to be losing that fast anyways.  So I'll just keep going as I have now.

Since I've lost 15.6lbs, to get to the goal of 110lbs, I have another 54.4 lbs to go.  I am very excited.  I don't really have a deadline, but if possible, to accomplish it before summer of 2018.  That will be my ultimate goal just no actual date.  Another thing that I have always dreamt of and also think of is having my collar bone show.  I just love that feeling of touching it and being able to see it.  No idea why I am obsessed with that, but I am.  I just hope that it should be soon so I can have even more motivation to keep going and losing weight. Anyways, that's just the biggest thing going on in my life right now that I am focused on.

As of the being debt free, that is still active also.  I only have 1 major bill left (not including student loans) then I am done.  I've paid off everything else already.  I am very excited to being getting that out of the way and possibly being able to afford to buy a house next years. Goals goals goals.

That's all.


Sunday, June 25, 2017


Hello hello.

We are one week away from the annual MN Hmong Sports Tournament.  I am off this upcoming Friday-Wednesday of next week and will be going back to work on Thursday.  I originally wanted to travel out of town to anywhere sometime during those days off but it is not going to happen because I have no available friends or anyone who wants to go. So...... stay-home-vacation it is or as everyone else around here calls it... staycation.

I should be thankful that I have a job that pays decent enough to cover my bills and such, but instead I feel so insulted at work.  My boss said 100% of what we are giving in is still not enough.  I don't think I have ever worked at a place and given so much time and energy into this kind of work.  I know for sure I need to leave soon, although I must say, I really like the benefits and how much time I am getting off work per pay period, or PTO earned per paid period.  If I get paid 2x a month, that's two full days of PTO per month, and on the months that I get pay 3x, that's three full PTO per month.  I don't know anywhere else that would give me that much PTO and such.  It is also really easy for me to request off and take off work whenever I want to as long as I request it first and foremost before the other people in the same department does.

My coworker just told me on Friday that she accepted a new job and will be putting in her two weeks notice this upcoming Monday which would be tomorrow.  Kind of sad.  She's one to really help and to really pay attention to details and get everything solved when I cannot do it.  It's going to be hard when she leaves because I go to her for everything, but I do not blame her for wanting to leave.  EVERYTHING we do is not recognized and not appreciated. I can't just up and leave because it's hard. I have bills to pay, I need to focus on finding a new job, but at the very same time, my goal was to stay here for a full year before I started looking for something else.  It is quite hard to focus on positively going into work because everything is so negative.  I work every other week on two different floors and sometimes get thrown into other departments to help do other things too and I don't mind so much, but there is a lot of work... so much work that it is impossible to complete and fulfill the "goals" of whomever comes up with them.


On the bright side, attended the 2nd Annual Hmong Town Festival today with my parents and sisters.  It was fun, lots of food, lots of vendors, and lots of music.  I ate enough and had lots to drink too.  There are these two ladies from Fresno that were selling Thai Clothes, the cheaper ones, but they were still beautiful as ever for $90.  I really want one.  They are going to be at the upcoming tournament this weekend so I am looking forward to going back to their booth and purchasing it this weekend.  I didn't bring enough money today because I was not expecting to be buying anything but food.  I really want to wear Thai clothes, but I refuse to spend $300+ on one because apparently, I am sooooo big that it costs extra fabrics to make one for me so it will be $300-400 which is total bullshit!  The one that I saw today, I tried on and it looks great, the skirt is adjustable and that's all I care about.  As long as it fits, that's all that I want.  I don't care whether it is those super expensive ones or not because I'm only going to wear it once and that is it.

Maybe.. just maybe I will take my camera with me next weekend and bring back photos to post on here....... motivation less to carry that camera around anywhere.  

That's all.


Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Sick of being SICK

It has been exactly 1 month and 1 day since my last post.  I always think about what I want to share on here, photos and lifewise, but I'm so busy --- okay totally an excuse, but I've lost so much motivation (wish I could say lost so much weight) to move and do anything.  I swear I think its near my death's time or something because I've been sick 4x in the last 5 months.  Completely losing my voice, fever, itching/swollen/sore throat, shivers, and everything.  I swear it is the Flu shot that I was required to get.

And for the past two days, I heard my Top Oppa overdosed on medication and has a drug case against him.  As much as I hate to say this, people need to leave my oppa alone.  I know he made a huge mistake, but quit writing bad things about him online!!!! Leave him alone! He's probably scared and depressed to the point where he overdosed on his medication, probably by choice too.  So mean!  And my goal of saving $$$ before he comes out of the military just went down the hill because he came out sooner than I thought he would.... and sighs. I guess money, fame, and a successful career does not always mean happiness.  People always have their eyes and fingers ready to point at them at any time.  I just hope he wakes up and nothing serious will happen.  I know my aunt was unconscious for a night with the doctors saying she will be ok just to hear the next morning that she will no longer be us because there is no oxygen going into her brain. Sighs.  Be ok my Top oppa.

Work--- is going ok.  I'm getting use to ignoring all the mean people at work. Lol.  I am a pro at ignoring when I want to.  I can't believe I've been working here for half a year officially.  I'm thinking about taking up another position here if I can get in.  The pay is decent, more than what I get pay now, and the position is completely different which will also require me to go back to school and all for another year and then to sign a contract to agree to work under this place for another year after that before moving onto another place.  I don't mind staying here, I just want to move department.  I really like the benefits here and really like the fact that I can get so much PTO here! Love it.  Anyways, the new position I'm aiming for will be doing research for EEG series and seizures and monitoring those kind of things.  I'm mostly excited about getting the chance to work from home being a possibility in the long run because of course, I have to be on site to learn how to do it properly and stuff first, but after learning, I will be able to work from the comfort of my own bed and such.  God, I know you have been blessing me all this time, thank you so much and I know you love me so much more than I would ever be able to return back, but please... this position is calling my name.

Anyways, I have to close my department now, I leave in 5 minutes so I guess I will end this now and maybe do something fun this weekend instead of staying home so I can share some photos.


Monday, May 8, 2017

4 months away.


It's been two busy and hectic months since I last wrote in here.

I've been throw under the bus at work.  My supervisor, as nice as she is.... oh goodness.  I'm getting tossed into everything and being assigned to everything.  It's a little crazy.  As fast of a learner as I am, I still get anxiety... bad anxiety attacks and my stress level is sky rocket high.  I know I'm the type to do something really well and then quit.  That's me because I get tire of people's crap and also get tired of being mistreated all the time.  Then, again, that is life.  Under appreciated for EVERYTHING. 

Life... life is ok.  I'm still loss as ever.  I don't have any long term goals as of now.  I've set short term goals for myself and those goals have 4 more months pending time.  I also set a goal to save $xx,xxx before my TOP oppa comes back from the military, but I highly doubt that will be happening anytime soon. I thought about rewriting new goals, but it's so stressful as it is right now so I will only be focusing hard on my one goal-- to pay off all my debt by September/October time frame.  The initial goal was to pay everything off by August 2017 but of course, life happens.  I have to make some changes to some things and be tight on money in some areas and some months.  It will all work out though.  I know it will because I have a written plan.

So much has changed, or I feel like so much changed. People change all the time. Things change all the time.  But all this time, I feel like I'm still in the same place and I haven't budged anywhere at all.


Saturday, March 4, 2017

No more. No more.

I received news that I will no longer be having a position at my 2nd part time job, not because I did anything wrong, but because the department is completely closing down.  I am so... very sad.

All my plans for paying off all my debts and being able to save went down hill.

I will still be able to pay off everything by the end of this year, but I won't be able to save anything at all.  Sighs.

Good things only comes by quick.


Saturday, February 11, 2017

Life Updates


I have officially been at my workplace for a little over 2 months now.  It's amazing how fast time flies by when I keep myself busy.  I'm really liking everything right now.  We have a new EMR going live on Monday so things are hectic at work with transferring all accounts over and pre-regging accounts that will be coming into play on Monday morning.  It's a new beginning for ALL of us so this will be a great learning process for all of us.  I'm excited and nervous at the same time.  I have to be up by 6am tomorrow to go into work and do some OT so we can be well prepared for Monday/Tuesday and the upcoming week.  It's going to be extremely interesting.

TOP oppa from Big Bang has officially enlisted in the Korean Military on Feb 9th, 2017.  It's so sad to see him go and to not have Big Bang as a group anymore until the next 8? years or so.  It will be amazing once they all reunite and release another album.  With his enlistment, I made a promise to myself that I will work hard for the 21 months that he will be gone for.  I made a small promise to myself that I will save up $10,000 minimum to have in my savings account as my emergency fund that I will NEVER use unless it really is an emergency.  That will total up to be around $476.xx amount per month.  I know some months I will be able to save more and some months less, but within that 21 months, 10g is my goal.  Until then, TOP oppa, let's both work hard at our goals.

In addition to the emergency fund/savings goal within that 21 months, I also set a new goal for myself for 2017 too.  I don't care about losing weight, don't care about what I look like, or what I don't have or anything at the moment.  My 2017 goal is to pay off ALL MY DEBTS that I owe (not including student loans) by December 31st, 2017.  That is my ultimate long short term goal.  Long term for this year, and short term for life.  I am on a mission to pay off all my unnecessary credit cards, well one of them was necessary since it was for medical treatments.  Other than that I want to pay off everything COMPLETELY and pay off all the people I owe money to (dad and sister) whom I borrowed money from since they were very kind to lend me money during my deepest and poorest moments in life.  Those things are my top priority in life at the moment.  I want to be done and over with paying for money I owe to other people.  After 2017 when I completely pay off everything, I will work hard on not charging my credit cards and on anything that I cannot pay cash for.  I will set new goals for myself in 2018.  I am kind of, very obsessed with financial counting and everything at the moment.  Everyone... well everyone online is talking about the whole Dave Ramsey thing with the snowball effect.  I have not had a chance to actually watch the Dave Ramsey show or whatever but I have watched successful stories on youtube that did amazingly great at paying off their debts through his snowball thing and also his 7 tips of whatever they need to currently keep up in life with.  I have not had a chance to actually thoroughly look through the things to see if it will help me in life, which I think I should be soon one of these days when I find time.

I spent 3 hours in total listing off all my credit card debts, all my school loans, all my monthly househould utility bills, all my spendings, and everything together to see how much money I am spending and using.  Like a lot of the successful people say, don't try to pay off everything at once.  Pay minimum of everything else and max out payments for one thing at a time.  I allowed leadway for emergencies and unplanned things to occur so that I will have enough money to still continue on this "wipe off the debt" snowball method.  If my calculations are right and I do not go off track, I can pay everything off by the end of this year which is AMAZING because I owe so much. Of course not the students loans.  I'm planning on reaching that $10,000 goal of emergency fund first and then I will start to plan out how I'm going to continue to pay off my loans.  Along the way, I am expecting to get a car, but not until all my stuff has been paid off.  I am excited for this new journey.  I can't believe I never had a plan before I got myself into all this trouble.  Overall, my entire debt is roughly $55,000 and under.  I haven't calculated it to the penny, but it sure is not worth trying to pay a lot for everything at once.  If I had done my research ahead of time, I would've been able to successfully pay off my debts and not be in debt to anyone.

With that said, I am working extra hard every single day to make as much extra income as I can to be able to save and pay off everything.  If things goes as plan and I continue to work every single day until the end of this year minus the fact that some holidays I will not be working, I should be able to pay off all those extra things and have a lump sum savings goal of $8.000 minimum by December 2017.  I won't punish myself too hard if I cannot get to 8g's, but it would be great and my life would be wonderful if I could. And my goal of 10g would be coming along perfectly well and by 2020 I would be able to completely wipe off my student loans. If things continue to work out, I will get decent raises from both work positions and continue to make more money as these months roll by too.  I am very very excited.  But of course we can't celebrate until I reach those goals.

Until then, let's all work hard.


Monday, December 19, 2016

3rd week in!


Christmas is right around the corner and so is New Years.  This is my third week going into my work place.  There is so much to learn and so much to know.  So far, I like it.  I like the people I will be working with and I like how everything is going smoothly so far. I know the position isn't the greatest but it pays well enough to cover my living expenses and such, so its hard for me to move onto another job just because this pays a little more than what I have been getting before.  I hope to stay here for a long time or a few years or so.  It's stressful to keep learning and moving to different places.  I hope that it goes well for me.